distance

today was very productive. did a lot of cleaning & organizing. went shopping with josh & ryan. then headed to church early. it was so refreshing to be out with two cool kids & just sharing stories & laughter. then at church, caught up with a really nice old friend i haven't seen in forever. she asked me if i still had any feelings at all for my ex & i was actually surprised of how sure i was of my answer: no. i would love to fix our friendship but i just don't love him as more than that anymore. i think i have finally reached closure. he showed up too. it's always awkward seeing each other, mainly because he is blatantly ignoring me. but i can honestly say i just don't love him anymore. that doesn't mean i don't care about him, because i do, but i just could not ever see us getting back together. we've both changed and we're just too different now. i hope he can still find happiness everyday & that someday he'll get over us so we can be friends. i miss our friendship. i know it hurts to see me, but i can't help you avoid me if you won't communicate with me & at least tell me what days you are going to show up to meetings/events/ bible study. if you would at least tell me that much, i would surely make the effort to avoid showing up on those days on purpose so you don't have to see me. i don't want to cause you any more pain. i never meant to hurt you. i never saw any of this coming. but please, just work with me now. it hurts to see you too, you know.