He's a Showstopper

"you're a showstopper. you are SO hot. and i can't get you off my mind" -Showstopper by Aj Rafael

So after a month or so of seeing this song title on countless fb statuses and lyrics quoted everywhere, i finally caved in and checked the song out last night. totally loved it. sweet&simple, the song makes its point =) the next step? i looked up the tabs & lyrics and spent my night playing the song insteada studying lol i'm playing with strum patterns and revising some of the lyrics appropriately, but overall am completely excited that i learned it =) i guess a part of it is because the target of my interest was on my mind all night and this was a good way of expressing it constructively. Josh is tryna teach me how to play "officially missing you" by tamia, but i'm still a noob so it's going to take a little more time lol

do you ever wish you could just completely blend in a crowd? become the essence of unnoticeable? i know the majority of the world is advocating to stand out, blah blah. but somedays i wish there was a way to deflect all forms of attention. i like hats. i like wearing hats, i like guys who can really pull off wearing hats, and i like hiding behind hats. i don't think i'm super attractive, but there are too many incidents when i get inappropriately holla'd at. in front of professors, important adult figures, my mom, anyone that shouldn't witness it, etc. days i wear hats, i can avoid most of the unwanted attention because the hat is like a shelter, protecting me from having to make eye contact with strangers. when i'm just walking around campus, hair's messed up because of the wind, and it's a day when i just didn't put much effort to try to look pretty, i still attract guys i don't want. is there an on/off switch when it comes to scouting out attractive guys/girls? i know i'm not looking for cute boys or to meet the man of my dreams in the 10-15minute walk to my next class. a part of that can also possibly be because i'm already seeing someone who surpasses every other guy you could possibly run into in a day, i'm biased, and i don't want to see any other guy. yes, i know this sounds problematic, but my walls are down. there's no denying the truth. even guys i had crushes on/consider attractive don't appear as desirable as they did months ago. what's going on?? what made this change and why am i not trying to reverse it? when did i unconsciously decide to completely fall for this kid.. i wish my mind had caught up with my heart in time to put up some flashing warnings and remind me to be cautious. now it's too late and i've jumped.. praying as every second passes, that he's gunna catch me. ohh boy.

string ensemble is becoming a stressful headache. it's coming to a point where i can't even enjoy the music.. i need to find a new outlet. i've been neglecting my library card.. it's time to get back into more frequent visits and getting lost in the fiction. but maybe i haven't resorted to it recently because even though there's so much pressure and stress enveloping my world lately, when your heart's happy how can the rest of you feel any other way?

p.s. the urban dictionary(i know i use this site too much lol) definition of "showstopper" is: one who is so good, he will stop you in your tracks

thanks for readinggg!
-Jenesis