strawberry whirl

yeah, don't ask me about my titles. lol i'm running out of creative titles; therefore, i used the name of the drink i'm sippin on from jamba juice. =)

by the way, this is terrible weather to be drinking fruit smoothies! it's sooo cold outside. and cold drink only amplifies the coldness factor. i highly recommend something like Starbucks..or even Carribou =P lately, i've been switching my loyalties back and forth between both. again, don't ask. lol.

so things in the string ensemble went as bad as i predicted, but it was for just one rehearsal, hopefully. we'll see how things go today. it would have been a horrid start of my week/very depressing day, but right after class, i got to spend time with this one kid who made my day better. =) i'll leave things at that.

i've been in a better mood these past few days.. blah blah blah ok, ok i really just wanted to blog about how cool this one one kid is. =) he's soooo cute. like, if you were to see him, you'd forget how to breathe for a few seconds. i loveee the sound of his voice. it's that perfect deep, but not too deep, clear kinda voice that makes you wish you could call him all the time & just hear him speak for hours. he has these eyes you could totally stare into and read how he feels. his smile.. it makes me lose any train of thought i was having, and suddenly i start babbling about incoherent nonsense. did i mention, he's cute?!?! & definitely charming, when he wants to be =P so yeah, i'm being vulnerable to the world & letting my emotions get the better of me for this blog. i'm totally crushing. and he knows =) i think we're making progress. i know it's been a really rough, complicated past few months, but our communication is getting much better. lol is it so silly to be crushing on the guy you've been dating on&off for the past few months? maybe. but i don't care. lately, we've been good =) which is such a stress reliever when i'm used to always being in this clouded, directionless stump with him. not knowing where anything was going, if there really was anything, or if he was even interested. now i know a little more, and it's making all the difference =) he's being hopeful. somedays, he still feels like a total mystery. but at least i know we're both really trying now. trying to understand each other & trying to make this into something more. remember one of my earlier blogs about how 'i just wish i knew if i was making any progress'? and other depressing, related questions? lol well i don't know all the answers, but what i do know is enough for me. i'm crushing pretty hard on this kid, but even though he doesn't feel completely as strongly as me, there's something! i just.. need to keep whatever that 'something' is growing. i think he called it an indescribable feeling? lol helpful, i know =P

today's Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent! i finally figured what i should give up earlier this morning: desserts. in every form. dun dun dun. i know, sounds impossible, especially because i have sugar cravings on a daily basis. but if i can make myself suffer for 40 days, maybe this will be a healthy decision and have long-term effects on my diet! then i won't have to worry so much about getting diabetes! lol we'll see. wish me luck =)

ok, off to class. need to stop daydreaminggg. especially in class. i'll be sitting in lecture, focusing very intently, when out of nowhere the professor will say something that triggers a thought about this kid i'm crushing on & off my mind goes. it'll take me about 1-2minutes to recover/realize that i'm daydreaming & not paying attention to class anymore lol and then i want to kick myself for missing something important in class because my mind's where he's at. ayaa. the dangers of crushes. =P byeee!