Just Another Open Book

Wow, after re-reading my posts thus far, I sound like a very depressed, confused, maybe even pathetic person. Definitely time for a happy blog! Because overall, everything isn't so bad. I'm prone to blowing things out of proportion past midnight when my thoughts are all scattered, and in general, I'm less sensible around this time. I have to admit that writing these blogs is actually emotionally draining, in a good way. After I finish a post, I feel tons better and can finally fall asleep peacefully. I guess identifying the problem is a solution in itself, and having all my worries typed out in front of me, I can come to terms with everything after getting a better perspective in the morning. So if you're debating whether or not to start your own blog, I highly recommend making one if your intentions are for organizational purposes or if you have opinions that you feel need to be shared with the world but are not sure whom to start sharing with. In a way, blogging is like keeping a diary, except it's not private. "And I feel like I'm naked in front of a crowd 'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud, and I know that you'll use them however you want to." -2A.M. by Anna Nalick. Knowledge is power, and I'm sure if I had a bunch of enemies, this website would be their best tool to pinpoint my weaknesses and use them against me. I guess I haven't put much thought as to the dangers of writing these really personal blogs, but for now I'll take my chances and deal with the consequences as they come. If someone wished harm upon me, there are many ways to do it; stalking my blog seems like too much effort, right? Anyways, back to the happy side. I am in the process of writing/composing my first song on guitar. Creating the music came easily because I guess I had the melody in mind, but making the lyrics to match is what's tormenting me. I made my first medley too. =) I really enjoy playing the guitar and learning new things on my own, but it's taking a toll on my fingers. Being a violinist of over 10 years, you would think my finger pads were accustomed to the tension and pressure of metal strings, but this is not the case for me. I have officially decided and committed to re-joining the UIC String Ensemble this upcoming spring semester, so I realize I have to quit/take a break from guitar during this time because extended hours spent playing the guitar leaves my finger pads extremely sensitive. I still play my violin in accompaniment with my church's choir on Sundays, and have found it very painful to bow through half notes or whole notes, so much so that even considering adding the vibrato is like a death wish. Clearly I can't play both instruments during the same period of time yet. Maybe this summer if I dedicate more time to the guitar, my finger pads will be forced to adjust to the point that playing will be comfortable again. Why am I so physically weak?! Back to the point I'm trying to make.. I am hoping to at least finish my new song entirely before the semester begins. If all goes well within this week, I might even have a video uploaded soon. =) My youngest brother had a piano recital today, which went very well, and one of my best friends has a string quartet performance tomorrow that I will be attending. Hoffman's annual winter orchestra concert is this week too, and as is tradition, alumni get to join in for their finale song, Hallelujah Chorus. Then this Thursday is Simbangabi(sp?), and me and Josh were recruited to play our violins with their all-filipino choir. Overall, this should be a very music-filled week, and for this, I am grateful. Creating music has always been one of my passions, and definitely serves as a good distraction from all the negatives I'd rather not focus on in my life. Like still being single as the holidays approach. But it's okay, I think I'm finally coming to terms with it..

-Jenesis